Professionalista

"Work" friendships: the yin and the yang

I am lucky and honored to have many great friends and friendly acquaintances. I probably have at least a handful of besties (I've never been one to have only one tight bond - 'cept with my dear hubby). And there are at least 25 people in my life whom I love/admire/respect (check one, two or all) that I have become friends with through work. Most of them are from the home care agency I worked at for 13 years; a scattered few are from random and sundry jobs; the remainder are at the family business I work for now. For me, when it comes to friendships, I see no separation of church and state. Some people do. I think men do.

Is it unprofessional to be tight with the people you work with day in and day out? Of course it is if it interferes with your productivity, objectivity and/or ethics. But as I see it, life is short and work is long. Shouldn't we have joy, laughter and support eight or nine hours each day, 40 plus hours each week?

Yes, yes, I agree: tight bonds can lead to "us against them," chatter behind doors and the occassional bon mot at somebody else's expense. Bad. All bad. But positive workplaces should go a long way to negate those sort of actions, don't you think?

I find that men don't build social relationships at work. Work is work. Home is home. And never the two shall meet. Is this how they're programmed? Is this a macho thing? I'd like to know, however, that the guys in Office Space had a solid friendship in and out of work (hmmm, and we know how that worked out...ultimately for the best! In a sort of unethical, worrisome way).

What do you think about workplace friendshps? Good, bad, indifferent? More commen for women? Rarely for men?

Mlogs: Man blogs

I'm fairly new the the fashion blogosphere. But from what I've stumbled upon so far it is, not surprisingly, dominated by women. I frequent a handful or two of these (The Pioneer Woman (she has a home and style page), Karla's Closet, The Coveted, ShoeGirl, Shoe Daydreams, Grit and Glamour). But I'm trying to make myself a more rounded person...by drinking wine and eating chocolate-covered gramcrackers...joking (sort of). No, I'm trying to expand my horizons by investigating style blogs manned by, well, men.

Thus far, I've found three I really like:

The Sartorialist. I've been following Mr. Sartorialist for about a year now. He posts fresh and fabulous pics each day of stylishly dressed men and women in Milan, NYC and whatever other cities he lands in (he was recently loving Atlanta). He keeps it simple with few words. Like so many men I know.

Beyond Fabric. Fun to read. Diverse. He recently blogged on hour-glass silouette enhancing belts - such as you see on trench coats - and how it can work for men too. (I've always liked my hubby, D, in a belted trench.)

Dressed for Dinner. Blogger Kevin lives in Toronto and has an entire section devoted to dudes with beards. I'm not a big fan of the beard, but I'm trying to be open. I do like a couple friends who have beards. Unfortunately, they're women.

I say, I'll get my fix of clever fashion commentary wherever - and from whomever - I can get it. Any suggestions?

Let's talk the '80s, then and now

I had a lot of fun in the '80s.  Asymmetrical cuts, florescent Ts and leggings, tapered jeans and oversized shirts: I done did all those things. I also wore a lot of preppy turned-up collar shirts and Laura Ashley school-girl dresses (I was in a sorority, gosh darn it! It was required!). It's easy to mock past trends. But don't you remember how great you felt in those jeans from Express with the X-tra large tank top? Or the flats with the knit skirt/sweater combo? I do. I was totally comfortable with the clothes in the '80s.

Many of those trends resurface again...and again...and again. And as someone who's been-there-done-that, I have to pick and choose carefully. Acid-washed tapered jeans might look great on Kate Bosworth, but they're not gonna work for me. So sad, too bad. I'm at a place where I'm happy to incorporate a trend here and there but I have to have some consistent standards so I don't look like a foo'. Those standards are:

• Wear nothing that emphasizes my butt. That means if I'm wearing a shorter sweater, I better gosh darn be wearing dark pants or a skirt (dark jeans work). No sweatpants with Aeropostal on the ass.
• Wear nothing that emphasizes my thighs. That means doing monochromatic dressing or pants that don't grab my legs or skirts that fit appropriately and float around my knees. So stirrup pants and a bustier aren't on my must do list.
• Dress to elongate. This is hard to do when one is 5'3" but it is possible. I almost always wear skirts and dresses that stop at my knee or just above (it's important to show that I actually have shins - so the fall trend of long skirts will not be happening for me - the Olsen twins can rock that because they weigh 8 lbs combined). I always try to wear a V-neck or scoop and show my collar bones - makes my kneck look longer.
• Bring attention to my face: it's the money maker.
• Wear heels. Yup, I know, they're bad for me. But I feel stronger, sexier and taller. Even though I haven't run in a year, my calves still look good (because of said heels). You can't get that with a pill. (And note, my mom didn't wear a high heels for about 50 years and she's bed-ridden - so I'll take my chances). Invest in shoes: they'll always fit.

If I want to rock an '80s look today, I'd happily choose one of these suits by Yves Saint Laurent that The Sartoralist posted (credit to him for the above pic).

Now excuse me while I go slip into my Frankie Says Relax florescent pink t-shirt and go to bed.

Shout out for Mondo

Professionalista recognizes Mondo Guerra, one of the most talented designers on Season 8 of Project Runway. Not only is Mondo a monster diva and creative force winning several challenges, but he has displayed amazing growth as a professional and a man.

This week we learned that Mondo has been HIV positive for 10 years - a fact that he has kept to himself and from his family. He decided that he needed to open up to keep growing and shared this news on the runway. The challenge was to create your own fabric and then design a garment. M created a vibrant plus-sign-themed print that he made into eye-popping pants that I would NEVER wear but looked fabulous on the model, paired with a complementary print halter blouse, and a jacket.

Another way Mondo has shown personal growth is by changing his opinion of Michael C., one of the other designers who was initially disdained by all for both his design and demeanor. Mondohas apologized to Michael C., him know that he was wrong to make a snap judgment.

Go Mondo!