You know how when you're with someone you trust, someone who you know will love you no matter what, you tend to let it fly? You can be careless, crass and hurtful. You can pick a fight, 'cause you are cranky, even if it's really not about them? And then later you realize you were a jerk and apologize? Or you can act superior, condescending or aloof and it's just accepted because that's the status quo in your family. Be aware: Work is a different story - especially if you want to learn, grow and thrive.
While most of us strive to have positive relationships at work, and, in fact, some of our best friends may come from the workplace feeder, it's important to remember that co-workers don't have our blood running through their veins (unless the co-workers are vampires...sorry, reading too many Anita Blake, Vampire Slayer novels). They don't have to accept us or like us or work amenably with us if we don't treat them with respect and thoughtfulness.
Here's are some ver-very-Dawn-tips for building strong co-worker relationships:
- Listen.
- When you don't like what they're saying, listen anyway (um, without huffing or rolling your eyes).
- Ask, don't tell.
- Say sorry when you're in the wrong.
- Ask to sit down and talk with them when you feel they are in the wrong.
- Speak from the "I" perspective when airing grievances and then, again, listen.
- If they aren't picking up what you're putting down, ask them what would make it better for them.
- If they still aren't on the same wave length as you, let it be. Accept that co-workers may never be your soul mates.
- Endeavor to walk in their shoes.
- Tell them they are doing a good job or that you appreciate how they do something.
- Bring a coffee or a cookie to a close co-worker once in a while.
- Go home to the people who love you...no matter what.
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